July 2012 ~ Memoirs of An Imperfect Angel

Sunday, July 29, 2012

I'm funny

Just a few reasons why I laugh at my own jokes:

I Think I May, I Think I Might...

The above cartoon illustrates (pun fully intended) why I can hardly consider myself a consistent person. I have to be in the "mood" to do things--up and including the mindset of "last minute panic." Thus, I also need to be in a specific frame of mind in order to fulfill my writing capacity. So forgive me if this is half-hearted. I'm more doing this as a way to balance my decision making.

However, the implications are as follows: when I'm not in the mood to write, it's as if someone put my brain on "Level 2". I don’t think as quickly, I'm not as witty, and I SWEAR someone's getting a kick out of my headaches that always appear [and once I found out who you are, I swear to You Know Who, (not to be confused who He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named) --- I'M SUING].

Now, a little background So the reader may understand my dilemma. Oh, you thought I was going to talk about the situation? No, I’d much rather prefer to just talk about me J

As I was about to say: I’m a pretty intuitive person—I have the knack of knowing what other people are feeling, what they want, and what they don’t want. However, just because I instinctually know these things doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll respect my findings. Why? There’s another aspect of my personality that inhibits my acquiescent side (which usually urges me to do what’s best for people). Point blank, I’m selfish; albeit I admit, most people are. However, not everyone is as exceptionally good at procuring their desires as I am. Yet, in order to do so, I every so often will need to overlook these natural instincts I have. This mere process is a risk given that I go against my intuition for the shear fact that my desire to accomplish what I want is greater than my fear of failure.

Though I may look foolish on my part, what is life, if you take no chances?

The Case of the Cheat-- September 20, 2006

After reading The Scarlet Letter, the students in my Junior English class were given the assignment to write about what we would do if we were cheated on (while having references to the book). The following is what I wrote.

Through my childhood, and now my adolescence, I have always been a sucker for romance; an absolute believer in true love. With such strong emotions invested in what I would fantasize to be my perfect marriage, I’m afraid of what brash decisions I would make if my fairy tale wedding came crashing down to a devastating end. That is to say, I’m uncertain what impetuous decisions I’d choose to make if my spouse cheated on me. Though it is to be noted that my response could very well be made into the newest soap opera episode.

The first emotion that would be invoked in me would be that of anger. Like Chillingsworth, I would wish to wreak havoc on the promiscuous poacher, but also the man who broke my heart. Once my rage subsides, having served its term, its replacement could then be likened unto the emotions and coping mechanisms of Dimmesdale. As I begin to feel the inner turmoil and sadness within, my distress will come to an alarming high, consequently creating a fresh waterfall. Then, after the tears come down, like the springtime rain that helps the plants grow from a harsh winter, I can begin anew. Though my feelings would entirely contradict, my actions would make the impression of my having the demeanor of little Pearl, who seems as careless and unaffected as a butterfly.

Having grown up with hopeful and maybe unrealistic ideals concerning my significant other, added unto my spontaneous nature, it truly is hard to say what physical reactions I would have to a cheating spouse. Though I know the sequential pattern of feeling angry, being hurt, and then finally coping and moving on is associated with my nature, supposing anything else in relation to my actions would give such a vast range of reactions that I might as well be assuming these things about a total stranger. Unless, of course, that stranger happened to be Pearl, in which case fate must have spun a cruel fate, and another book should thus be written to draw comparisons from. Anyhow, although maybe abruptly, but without further adieu, it must needs be known that this is all stipulation, for all things truly do end happily ever after.

The Hauntings of Indiana

First off, let me start this post by informing the reader that I do not/will not ever believe in haunted places. It's all hogwash, if you ask me. If you were to ask my sister Sara, on the other hand, she would swear up and down that not only has she seen ghosts, but she also lived in a haunted house that they had to call in "special authorities" to eradicate the unwanted visitors. My twin brother is a half-way believer. He recently posted this on Facebook about a supposed ghost, "Dear Edna Collins, I know we shouldn't of went out and bugged you on your bridge last night, but you didn't have to take my hub cap!!! That's like $100 dollars to replace :( You all are for-warned....she'll steal your hub cap!".
Being raised in Indiana doesn't give you a lot to do. So if you want to avoid the meth bandwagon, you join the "let's go visit haunted places" one. I think that's the reason why in my small town there's about 7 haunted places alone--there's nothing better to do than make up rumors about potentially spooky places. That, and it's more appealing than going to see "the beater" in front of his TV at night.
That being said, let's go over some of my favorite haunted places in Indiana.

1) EDNA COLLINS/COLLINGS BRIDGE

The legend begins in the early 1920’s when a little girl drowned in Little Walnut
Creek just beneath the bridge. Her parents often traveled into Greencastle. The little girl would beg to be allowed to stay behind with her dog and swim in Little Walnut Creek. Often her parents would agree and drop her off along the way. They wouldn't be gone long, and she was to listen for the car horn that would signal their return.
On one of these occasions, when the parents returned to the bridge her father honked, but she did not come. Thinking she hadn’t heard the first time, he honked again, and then waited. She still didn't appear.
He honked a third time. When they didn’t get a response, her parents got out of the car to look for her.
There on the bank sat her dog, soaked. He ran to them, jumping and running back to the water's edge.
There in the middle of the creek lay their daughter, face down in the water. Her father rushed into the water, the distraught pet bounding after him. Once back on the bank her father tried unsuccessfully to breathe life into his little girl.
Since that horrible day the ghost of the little girl is said to haunt the bridge. Throughout the years, many people who have heard this story have visited the bridge and have seen the little girl they call Edna
Collins for lack of another name. Some say they’ve seen her standing at the end of the bridge with her dog beside her, waiting.
So what do you do when you visit this place? It's simple--drive half-way through the covered bridge. Roll down your windows, honk the horn 3 times, and completely turn off your car. Wait five minutes. Supposedly she'll get in your car.

2) HELL'S GATES. (Brazil, IN)

Rumor has it that there were 7 Gates to Hell located throughout the countryside around the Wabash Valley. When you reach one of these tunnels, legend says to stop and flash either your car lights or a flashlight 3 times. Then travel through the tunnel. Turn around and return to your original side. Then wait in the darkness. Some claim to have seen blood dripping on the walls, some say spirits begin to knock on car windows or the roof of your car. Cries of restless spirits killed on the train tracks above the tunnel can be heard or chants from long lead members of a cult can be heard whispering in the woods. The worst rumor is that, if you see your name begin to glow on the walls, you will die by morning.

3) 100 STEPS. (Brazil, IN)

"One hundred steps is the count, in darkness you shall find. Beware the path from whence you came when your steps count 99"
Carpenter's Cemetery lies just west of 340 and US 40 on CR 675. Locally it is better known as 100 steps. The graveyard has become very popular over the years and because of childish vandals, is often watched by local law officers.
Legend has it that, on the darkest nights when you can't see your hand in front of you, you can walk up the broken steps of this cemetery and count 100 steps. As you walk down, people are amazed when the steps they count are only 99. It is not an easy thing to do since there are only 60 or so steps there any other time of the day or night. Another popular idea is that it isn't the number of the actual stone stairs but the number of steps you take from the bottom of the hill. Once you reach the top of the stairs, you keep counting and keep walking until you reach 100, then you turn around and try to take the same size steps back to the stairs and on down to the bottom.
Legend says the dark of the night must be total and you must not be able to see where you step. Flashlights and bright moon light don't count. Some have been known to use a scarf as a blindfold to get the total darkness. As you can see in the photo, walking up or down this steep hill on these broken, uneven steps could be dangerous even in the light of day. This might not be the best idea. Legend also tells of those trying to take a safer way up and down the hill, walking on the ground beside the steps. Even with a flashlight or moon light, many people report of being knocked down hard to the ground while trying this cheat, some with hand prints appearing on their back or chest.
So, the question is, why would anyone try to walk the steps at night? The legend continues that if you are able to navigate the steps in the pitch of darkness and make the magical counts, then that night, before the rise of the sun, the spirit of the original caretaker will somehow make known to you the manner of your death. If you are not careful while going down the steps, it wouldn't take a ghost to tell you how how you might die.

3). SPOOK LIGHT HILL. (Brazil, IN)

On a cool October night, many years ago, Old Man Lowry sat up waiting for his only daughter to come home. He was known to be very protective of his beloved Rebecca. His wife had passed away when giving birth to Rebecca and was all the family he had in the world. The night was still early and Mr. Lowry knew his daughter was enjoying an evening at the church social, but the weather was turning bad off in the distance and he was hoping his girl was paying attention to the weather as much as she might be paying attention to the young men at the social. As the flash of lightning grew closer he watched the hill expecting to see his daughter driving the horse and buggy home. At long last he saw her rig come over the hill and ran out to help her put away the horse. To his horror, he saw by the flash of lightning that the buggy was empty. He jumped onto the buggy and tore off back towards the church in search of his daughter. Half way there, he saw her lying on the roadside. As he jumped off the buggy and came to her side, he found that her head had been completely severed. Rebecca Lowry was buried in the family cemetery near to where her body was found. It was assumed that in the storm, she had been thrown from the buggy and that the wheels had somehow decapitated her. The most puzzling part of the story is, her head was never found.
Now, years later, hundreds of people have claimed to see mysterious lights roaming the hillside. Most believe that, even after his death, Rebecca's father is still searching for his daughter's head. Others say it is just gas or something natural. What ever it is, few dispute that fact of the mysterious lights that seem to haunt Spook Light Hill.
To find this site, go North on State Road 59. Turn left on the County Line Road right before the Park County Sign. The road splits and you want to stay left. Soon the road turns to gravel. Continue about 4 miles. Some stop at the top of the hill and flash their lights 3 times to tell the ghost they are there, some say the best view is at the bottom of the hill facing State Road 59.

Now go grab some marshmallows and have a bonfire and tell s'more stories!!!